A Phatdiva Enthusiast

Meet Oliver

Catz are extremely bipolar. More so than those sour patch assholes. They turn sweet to sour in a hot second.  Purring, cuddling, and mewing… and then pupils dilate and you're snuggling with Shere Khan (that dickwad is absolutely terrifying) and they attack. Like.... a full-blown i-am-going-to-end-your-lyfe kind of attack. They can’t help it. It’s just how their little pea brainz are wired.

Monsieur Oliver is THAT type of cat. Brought up with a ROUGH childhood (some jags threw him from a moving car before he could even open his lil kitten eyes) he has a reason to have this bipolar edge.

Here are examples of Oliver being the cat version of Carrie Mathison.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY CATNIP SAUL!"

I KILL YOU DOG.

JKZ I lub you dog.

RAWR I EAT BABIES FOR BREAKFAST

"Get.in.mah.belleh."

… and digest them in this adorable fashion.

"So heppy with babies in mah belly"

You get the point. This panther-esque feline isn't necessarily PHATDIVA material… why is this slender tuxedo cat on here?!?! It’s because Oliver has been a common love interest of many PHATDIVAZ… can you blame them??

Haaaaaaai Ladiez.

Oliver and Ivory had a complicated relationship and did inappropriate and awkward things around the house..... like this:

"YOU NEVER GO ASS TO MOUTH!"

and this:

Phatdivaz are surprisingly fast...

But recently he’s been focused on Lilly. That d-bag spent Valentine's Day making this dorky card for her.

Desperate much?? Jk, it actually worked.

 Another reason this asshole made it on PHATDIVAZ is because... he is hilarious.

what a dick

oh gurrrrl you got it.

                                                 

So let us love & embrace the strange little creatures that are so hilarious and adorable that it's difficult to stay mad at them for trying to kill you... evil little nincompoops.

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Meet Ivory

This phatdiva is Ivory. This frisky feline betch has been known to dip a paw in your milk when you're not looking, snag a few licks from your stick of butter, and savagely demolish shrimp while scattering their tails around the house in the process.

Guilty.

Don't piss off this phatdiva. Not only is she the queen of "stank face", she has bitchtastic ways of teaching you a lesson. Clean cat litter?? Don't give a shit. Computer charger?? Don't give a shit. Favorite urine-free clothing?? Still don't give a shit. This sassy 'tude of hers is a signature PHATDIVA characteristic- and the bitch owns it.

I know what you're thinking... This precious water-balloon-of-a-cat doesn't look harmful... but her irresistible charm gives her just the advantage she needs to get away with this bullshit.
I mean LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!

We believe everyone needs a little PHAT with a pinch of DIVA in their mundane lives... allow these PHATDIVAZ to SPICE UP YA LIFE. No matter what kind of food-snatchin', mess-makin', eye-gougin', life-ruinin', flesh-scratchin', catnip-snortin' trouble these divaz get into--- we love them.

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This is Lilly!

(not actual size, she's much larger)

Meet Lillian,also known as the furry hurricane. She's the ultimate partner in crime to her best girlfriend Ivory. She would introduce herself, if she wasn't busy licking herself.  This self proclaimed s'more is well on her way to becoming the ultimate feline fatty. 

No Hands!

Born and rescued from the streets of Charlottesville, she's counting down the days until her 1st birthday, June 20th. And you know that shits gon be cray. 

The only thing stopping this little miss from a [[perfect ten]], are the nasty poots she's been known to let rip. We're talking some nasty shit obviously never owned up to. Silent killers.  But what's a lady to do? 


Interests include:

Chicken Meatballs
Your leftovers
Reality TV
Temptations
Bitchin'
Murdering mousie and stuffie
Givin mufins to ganky
Laptops
Givin' licks.


Celebrity Crush: Mercy West-Kardashian

Shahs of Sunset Season Finale

Sure this pain in the ass doesn't recognize any sort of boundaries regarding personal space/privacy/downtime, but look at that face. 0ne look at that dopey face and you'll wish you enjoyed your life half as much as she does. Thank your lucky stars shes not your typical cint of a cat. This bitch loves people & will stop at nothing to keep you from getting your work done.